Thursday, July 28, 2011

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THROW BOXES AT HIM

ITS LIKE MINECRAFT

OH MY GOD.

THIS PILLOW.

THIS FUCKING PILLOW.

AMAZING.

Ive been driving since like, eight.

Its three now?

THAT’S A FUCKING STOIC HORSE.

VERACOOOOOOSE

BEEEEEEAAAAAARRRDS!

Okay… after doing a little bit of math, ive been driving for like, seven hours today?

…im… so… I need to make up a word for this, hold on…

VEHICRAZY?

Sure.

Anyway, weve been driving from the middle of Idaho to the middle of Nevada?

Im in the middle of what some would consider a desert. I call it Saskatchewan with volume. I look out the window and it’s the same thing from five hours ago… but at least its not FLAT. HAHA FUCK YOU, SASKATCHEWAN.

ORLANDO BLOO.

FUCKING BRILLIANT.

Ive been watching Fosters the whole time. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Foster’s is awesome.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

-dh’aaaaaaaaaap-

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

-dh’aaaaaaaaap-

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

-dh’aaaaaaaaaaaap-

WHEE_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Sock. Phone.

THE MOVIE.

FOSTERS HOME.

Poor Eduardo.

BUNP.

AAAH OHHH NOOOOOO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I HATE THE ROAD FOREVER

Socjphone.

iPhone.

iPhone?

No.

Blackberry.

OLD blackberry

1st 3G phone old.

Like, REAL old.

OLD

AS

FFFUCK.

This looks like a conversation between me and mischa.

O_O

I miss mischa

I miss everybody.

URRVRYBAHDY.

OVARIE BODY.

EEW

…Bloo’s a dick.

NP.

I…

HATE…

BLOO’S VOICE.

BUNP.

BUNP.

BUNP

BUNP BUNP BUNP BUNP

FCUCKING BUUUUNNNNPPP!!!!!

I HATE THEMSE!!!! rpOADS.

I need a smoother road to DRAW WITH. MAAAAAAAAAAAN…

STUPID AMERICAN ROADTRIPS, MAAAAAN…

But I am getting better with MSPAINT.

YUSS.

Omgomgomgomgomgogmogmg. Im getting like, fat n shit.

NO MORE TWIZZLERS.

just kidding… :(

Oh, whatever.

I need…

Exposure to become famous.

Hey, people reading this blog?

Wanna do me a favour?

Could you like…

I mean, if its not too much trouble…

See that plus one button?

Its here every post and its EVER SO lonely.

Show it a little love by clicking on it please?

Thanks. You guys are like, so nice.

Also, maybe spread this blog around a little?

Send it to your friends?

But not your mom. I probably know your mom, and I don’t want to set a bad example for myself.

Great, now I KNOW someone’s gonna send it to their mom… and their moms gonna be all like, THIS BOY SURE SWEARS A LOT. And then youll be all like, Ooooh, aaaawkwaaaarrrd and youll have no one to blame but yourself. Way to go, fagballs.

Oh HEY!

You know that thing that happened in Utoya? Of course you don’t. Go look it up.

AAANYWAY

I knew someone that was at the camp where that went down.

Yeah he was freaked right the fuck out.

I’m glad he got out okay, but I still feel bad for all the people that didn’t.

ANYWaY?

This post is ginormous. And yeah, IM STILL DRIVING.

Also im trying my hardest to update every Sunday, right?

Well, whenever I don’t do an update on Sunday, I’ll let people email me.

Do your worst, internet.

But honestly, send me anything illegal and Ill make sure you get whatevers comin to ya.

Well, im not sure what ill be able to do… I KNOW THE CYBER POLICE!

Or you know… the regular police.

Why am I dwelling on this?

Am I THAT vindictive?

Man. Im a dick. Sorry.

But please, no gore or CP. That shit aint cool.

This is what over nine hours with no internet does to me.

I get all depressed n shit,

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

THIS SPUDS FOR YOU.

C:

I dislike people who clain they have an interest in this show but they only like cheese cause hes quirky. WHO CARES. Hes dumb. Hes the basket for throwaway jokes.

Dude, this show had the best opening ever.

Like, I could watch that shit all day.

Just the opening.

Rylie puts it best, though

Like, when this played after school it was like,

You had the WORST DAY EVER right?

You turn your TV on to channel 38 and you heard the harp tune?

You suddenly knew everything was gonna be okay.

Like, it was 30 minutes of straight up relaxation.

Oh my god.

This show is heroin.

Sweet sweet heroin.

Dude, I don’t even care.

These dibs are excellent.

ME…

ME GUSTA…

Imaginary friends.

Need to build a house for them.

NEED TO MAKE A HOUSE

NEED TO BUILD A HOOOOOOOUSE

A HOUSE

A HOOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSSEEEE!

HOUSE.

Why.

Why.

EXPLODING SHIT.

IM IN THE STATES AINT I?

Haha. 69 to Reno.

Well, around 68.something now…

STILL. ALMOST AT THE HOTEL. ALMOST AT WIFI.

ALMOST… ABLE TO… MY BLOG!!!!!!!

>:D

YES

POSITIVITY.

This is gonna be the most fantastical post ever.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Wha-hey!

Now, Ive reached my quota for blog posts! Given i did replace one that I might make up the difference for later but thats not important right now. What's important is that I need to figure out whats gonna happen for the blog... Now.
Like, this blog is my kitchen, and these posts are my dishes.
I'm for lack of better linguistics, remodelling my kitchen.

BUT HOWS EVERYONE GONNA EAT?!

I think in order to keep everyone happy, while I sort out this remodelling thing, I take the blog in a little bit of a different direction and I run a lil comic strip! Well, Whaddya say?!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

...

NoFX.

Hey Whats up. Did you miss me? No? Thats fine....

ANYWAYS

A few weeks ago I was actually doing something worth blogging about.
There was a sold out concert. For THE BEST BAND EVER. Can you guess who it is? No?
Really?

Anyway, there was a sold out show, and you'll never guess who got tickets!

Thats right! I did! Very good you're learning!
So it was a NoFX show, and considering that they NEVER play in Calgary, I was more than excited. So I invited my BEST FRIEND EVER and we get to MacEwan hall where the concert was, and I guess just because its in a university, it has to be like, confusing as all fuck.
So I call my other good friend who was already right at the stage but it was super loud there for some odd reason, and his directions were, well...
...We'll just say less-than helpful.
BUT SUDDENLY:
MAGIC > MIRACLES
anyway, the opening band comes on, right?

And needless to say, I was both suprised and thoroughly impressed. I mean, a COUNTRY BAND OPENING FOR NOFX? AND IT SOUNDS... GOOD?

It was like their sound was perfectly contrasting AND complimenting what was to come. But what was to come didnt matter. It was all in the now, and it was beautiful.
Now, I suck at segues, soI think its time to break this moment like it was broken for me. Imma tell you about The sketchiest chick i think ive ever met. You know the witch from Left 4 Dead?
She looked kinda like that, but with blacker eyes, and... Less teeth. Yep. It's about time I told ya about MethMouth.
So yeah, this is MethMouth. She was by far the sketchiest... thing i think ive ever seen.
Tweaky, wiry, and half a set of teeth. Oh, my favourite.
So anyway, Old Man Markley eventually got off stage. And The next band came on. They were eh...
It would have been more enjoyable if A. They didnt take forever and B. we werent RIGHT up front next to the fency thingy.
and so after waiting forever they FINALLY got on stage. They were like that crappy band that took too long getting on and never left. Wait, no they werent like that at all. THEY WERE THAT CRAPPY BAND THAT TOOK TOO LONG GETTING ON AND NEVER LEFT.

Now heres when things got a little sketchy. First it started with the people in the mosh pit slamming against the fence. The fence that Nikki and I were up against.
lot of bumpng and slamming happened. And you'll never guess who popped by to say hello...
Thats right! MethMouth! You are doing so well!
Oh man, without even turning around I could tell, too. I could FEEL the menthols on her breath.
So aaanyway,
Nikki miust have saw that i was in a little bit of a predicament, becasue this is all I can really remember:
I think what happened was Nikki grabbed me as we were being shoved out from the middle, and not a moment too soon.
So anyway, here's what happened next or whatever
Anyway, we eventually found some safe place and the band was a lot more enjoyable. (I still hate them though.)
The show was mind-blowing.
AND THIS GUY. OH MAN, THIS GUY. ERIC FUCKING MELVIN. This dudes a champ, jsut so you know. So yeah, thats pretty much it for now. EXPECT MAJOR SHITFUCKING TO HAPPEN TO THE SITE. MAJOR. SHITFUCKING.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

IT LOOKS LIKE IM GOING TO HAVE TO TRY HARDER

What the title said.

I obviously suck at this updating banizz so I guess until I can manage to keep a relative schedule its curtains for now.

...And no, you weren't being mean you were just being direct.

Monday, July 11, 2011

FINE.


THERES GONNA BE AN UPDATE GOING ON PROBABLY LATER THIS AFTERNOON.
ITS A BIGGUN.

JUST THOUGHT I'D LET ALL SIX OF YOU KNOW.

THANK YOU.
























Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

WHO WANTS SOME FUCKIN NESQUICK?

Hey. I got bored. And I really really miss and want to hug ALL of you.

Naw, I mean it.

Really.

Okay okay, enough of this. I'm ordering updates. What do you want on your half?

Do you want me to write about My time in Drama... Or do you want me to post something else? Maybe... Finally go linear and write a multi-part story. GIMMIE SOME INPUT FOR ONCE.